A Field Guide to leaving behind

Eliot Kelly-Leftwich

1. FUTURE

It never stops coming. The past is always there,

but the future plows through like a train.

I’m afraid of leaving behind.

I haven’t learned how do that yet,

How to move on,

Or change,

Or be,

I’m not there yet,

But I turn 18 next year,

And leave home in 2,

So something’s got to give,

I’ve got to learn to leave behind.

2. DECIDING

Time doesn’t stop, because you don’t know what’s next,

so it’s time to make a decision.

So I decide that for one week straight, I’ll walk every morning,

I’ll see new sights—CHANGE—and then, I’ll pick something up:

a pebble, or a flower, or a coin,

and right before I get home,

I’ll toss it:

Leave it behind,

So here goes nothing.

I always start on this walking path,

just a few blocks away.

3. URBANITY

Between 1837 and today, the population has

increased to 2,314,157 people, making our

city the 4th largest in the nation.

For a little, you see nothing

But these condos, all named the same,

All intertwined, the type of places young people live,

I’m still too young,

I think to myself.

4. CRAPE MYRTLES

Lagerstroemia. They flourish in the heat.

I pick a flower off of a crape myrtle, like the ones that used to grow on the

playground of my elementary school.

It’ll be my [leave it behind] of today.

5. THE BAYOU

Our bayou system consists of 22 bayous,

the largest being Buffalo Bayou, which flows for

53 miles through the city.

When the path continues,

It winds you up and down the bayou, just another thing —

I’ll have to leave when I go wherever I go, when I leave to —

Whenever I’m leaving to — but how do I leave behind the bayou,

The one that is actually the 22 that span across my county —

The bayou that has served as the landmark for orienting my

Boneless shape in the compass — served as my north star

When I asked: How do I get home from here?

How do I leave behind my body — of water?

The bayou ran along the ‘forest’ behind my elementary school,

we even went back there sometimes,

just to watch,

and how do I leave that behind?

6. HOLD ON

Everything persists in a city.

Trees grow in sidewalk cracks,

and dirt hangs in the air,

and nothing ever leaves completely.

The rest of the walk is sort of boring,

I people-watch, because it’s what I do best,

You can do that anywhere, I was told once,

so at least I’ll always have that,

I take a few pictures,

Little pretty flowers,

A thing to hold onto,

7. LET GO

But sometimes, it’s time to move on,

because nothing ever leaves completely,

so it’s okay to let go for now.

And then it’s time to leave it behind.

So I position myself on the edge of the bayou when I loop back around,

And I send off my crape myrtle bloom, just onto the surface of the water,

Because everything in Houston ends up back to the bayou,

The flowers and all my

Leave it behinds,

Because everything in Houston ends up back to the bayou,

The trash the soil the birds

& Me.